WILL HE IVVER CUM

AH! STAND UTT FRUNT ROOM WINDER IVVERY TEUSDAY,
JUST HOPIN' THAT HE'LL CALL,
YA KNOW THAT MAN, WIT BOWLER HAT,
HIM FRUM SPOT THE BALL,
AM ALLUS DISAPPOINTED,
BURRAM SURE HE'LL CUM WUN DAY,
UN I HOPE ITS NOT MUCH LONGER,
COS! AM GERRIN'OWD UN GREY,
ARE CUN SEE US NAR, WI' ROSES,
UN, GLADIOLAS ALL RARND'T YARD,
ME IN A PAIR A FOSTER GRANTS,
CRUISIN'T STAIRFOOT BOULAVARD.
AD BUY A MINK HAT TO COVER UP MI' ROLLER,S,
UN A STRING A PEARLS LIKE QUEENS,
UN WUN A THEM THEER MICRO THINGS,
THAT YA NIVVER HAVE TO CLEAN,
ARE WOULDN'T EV TO LOCK FRUNT DOOAR,
IF'T RENT MAN CALLED BY CHANCE,
AD SAY, PARK THI' BUM A MINUTE LAD,
AL PAY A FORTNIT IN ADVANCE,
AD TEK MI' LITTLE DOG TUT POODLE PARLOUR,
FOR A WASH UN A POSH CLIP,
HE'S ORNY HEINZES FIFTY SEVEN,
BURRITTLE DO HIM GOOD, WIL'T TRIP.
WID HIRE A CHARABANG,
UN TEK ALL'T STREET TO CLEETHORPES FOSSUM FUN,
FILLIN' IT UP WI' CRATES ARRAIL,
FORRA A KNEES UP, DARN'T M.I.
ADD TREEAT MISSEN TO WUN A THEM NEW WESHERS,
ARTTUTT CATALOGUE,
COS AM FAIR WORN ART WI'T POSHER,
UN THAT DAMNED OWD RUBBIN' BOOARD,
THE'D BE A PROPER JOINT ON SUNDAYS,
UN A TRIFLE TOPPED WI' CREAM,
WESHED DARN WI' A NICE COWD GLASS A STOUT,
EH!! WORRA LOVELY DREEAM,
AYE! WELL! APPEN NEXT WEEK HIM WITT BOWLER HAT 'LL CALL,
TO TEL MI' THAT AVE WUN,
UN IF ARE SURVIVE FIRST HEART ATTACK,
ARE RECKON WE'RE IN FOSSUM FUN.......