I'VE DONE SOME THINGS IN MY TIME,
BUT THE DAFTEST HAS TO BE,
WHEN I WENT AND PAWNED MY WEDDING RING,
SO'S OUR LASS COULD SEE THE SEA.
REST OF'T CLASS WERE GOING,
AND MY SISTER FELT ASHAMED,
MY MAM TOLD HER SHE WAS SKINT,
AND I HADN'T A PENNY TO MY NAME.
SO, I OFF AND POPS MY WEDDING RING,
NEVER THINKING OF'T DISGRACE,
BUT IT WERE WORTH IT JUST FOR'T LOOK I SAW,
UPON MY SISTERS FACE.
IT WEREN'T UNTIL I WAVED HER OFF,
I SUDDENLY WENT QUITE COLD,
HERE I WAS, HEAVILY PREGNANT,
WITHOUT MY BAND OF GOLD.
I MUST HAVE TURNED THREE SHADES OF GREY,
WHEN I REALIZED JUST WHAT I'D DONE.
SO, I DASHED OFF DOWN TO WOOLWORTHS,
BEFORE OUR LAD GOT HOME.
I'LL WRAP IT THE ASSISTANT SAID,
BUT I SAID, PLEASE DON'T BOTHER,
IT'S ONLY FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS,
JUST TO TIDE ME OVER.
I MEANT I'D ONLY BOUGHT IT TILL I COULD REDEEM MY OWN,
THEN I REALIZED SHE MUST HAVE , IT WERE JUST TILL BAIRN WERE BORN.
AFTER THAT FARCE I WERE DESPERATE,
FOR A NICE HOT CUP OF TEA.
SO OFF I WENT TO'T CAFÉ,
SITTING DOWN PATHETICALLY.
WAITRESS CAME AND TOOK MY ORDER,
SEZ I ' A POT OF TEA FOR ONE'.
THEN WITH MY HANDS CLASPED UNDER'T TABLE,
I QUIETLY WHISPERED TO MISSEN,
FORGIVE ME LORD, FOR WHAT I'VE DONE,
WITH THIS RING I NOW REWED,
BUT AS I SLIPPED IT ON MY FINGER,
MY FACE WENT CRIMSON RED.
COS, HALF OF THAT THERE CAFÉ
HAD BEEN LISTENING TO ME,
BUT I CALMLY REACHED FOR A SERVIETTE,
AND PLACED IT ON MY KNEE.
I FELT I HAD TO SAY A PRAYER,
BEING A GOOD CATHOLIC GIRL YOU SEE.
SO I JUST STUCK MY NOSE IN'T AIR,
AND CALMLY STIRRED MY TEA.
THE ONLY PROBLEM WAS , YOU SEE,
WHILST I STARED BACK AT THEM QUITE BOLD,
I WAS THAT LONG PUSHING RING ON,
MY CUP OF TEA HAD GONE STONE COLD.
