I ear they've gorra vacancy `forra moggy on't owd british rail,
Well.! Ave got wun ere that cun lick em in fits,
Catching mice ivvry day wi art fail,
The cun ev him on loan for ten bob a day,
Al deliver im missen theear in person.
Dunt worry ort diesel is bin browt up on that,
That un brown ale is his passion.
His name is plain moggs, and he hates little dogs,
he's a true performer balancin't rails
Is a sight for sooar eyes when is up to his best,
Evvin't passengers biting the nails.
He dunt need a basket to lull him to sleep,
Just an oily cloth chucked into a siding,
The's orny wun snag, when is love lorn un sick,
He teks off 'un guzz into hiding,
So! Just lerruz know when ya want him browt darn,
So's he cun get to know't engine driver,
Un if ya want him in hurry, al cum straight away,
Burrass charge british rail, extra fiver.....

Ave ya noticed how we allus tek fo granted, the basic needs in life,
Like electricity un gas,coal,coloured tele un ya wife,
Mi tele are cun do withart,un mi coils piled up to't top,
Gas un electric is no problem, Wiss gerra candle from't bottom shop,
Mooast a these are cun do withart, coil un tele un the like,
Un the cun stuff their expensive petrol, co ave orny gorra bike.
Ar thowt are do bart missus, till it cum to't watta strike,
Allus teckin her for granted, gooin boozin ivvery night.
It were when they put that standpipe darn utt bottom urrar lane,
She fetched un carried wata better'n any gunga din,
Hail rain sleet un snow, she tuck her turn in't watta queue,
Then trudged back through't muck un sludge, to meck me a nice hot brew.
She allus boiled a drop for me, so's are cud sooak mi teeth in't glass,
She'd run her blood to watta to keep me happy would are lass.
Mi dinners allus theear on't table, when are cum home from't pit utt two,
Un if are drop to sleep on saturdays , she even checks mi football pools.
She in't no Betty Grable, but she's worth her weight in gold,
When God finished meckin her, he threw away his mould.....

THE GREAT BOER WAR WAS BEGINNING,
THERE WAS POVERTY FOR SOME, VERY NEAR,
IN'T KLONDYKE THE GOLD RUSH HAD STARTED,
HE WERE BORN IN DECEMBER THAT YEAR.
HE WERE POOASTED TO FRANCE IN WORLD WAR ONE,
TO FIGHT FOR HIS KING UN QUEEN,
BURRIS BATTLE WERE SHORT,UN THEY PACKED HIM OFF HOOAM,
WHEN THEY FON ART HE WERE ONLY SIXTEEN.
.BUT HE WASN'T PUT OFF,UN WENT BACK TO'T SOMME,
HE WERE WOUNDED UN THEN MUSTARD GASSED,
SIX UN HALF STONE HE WEIGHED AFTER'T WAR,
BUT THANK GOD HE CAME HOME,SOME WERE LEFT.
WUN NIGHT IN A PUB NEAR'T OWD CATHOLIC SCHOOL,
A LASS WI DARK CURLS CAUGHT HIS EYE,
IT MUST AVE BEEN LUV, COS!BEFORE VERY LONG THEY WERE MARRIED UN SETTLED NEAR BY.
THEY BROWT UP A FAMILY,FOUR DAUGHTERS,THREE SONS,
JUST EXISTING WERE ROUGH,TIMES WERE HARD,
SHE'D LIMES SUMBODIES CELLAR FOR SIXPENCE,
HE'D TEK SCRAP IN A BARRA TO'T YARD,
BUT THEY'D ALLUS A CHRISTMAS UN BIRTHDAYS AS WELL,
HE SAW TO THAT,HIM UN TOWD DUTCH,
APPEN APPLE UN ORANGE,FIVE PENNIES BRAND NEW,
SMALL SURPRISE UN A FEW MONKEY NUTS.
HE'D SIT DARN TO DINNER WITH'T CAP ON HIS HEAD,
BURRIZZ KIDS KNEW WHAT MANNERS WERE WORTH,
UN IF THEY STARTED TO TALK WHILST UTT TABLE,
HE'D SAY'LET YA MEIGHT STOP YA MARTH.
HE'D A VOICE MADE YA TREMBLE UN A TEMPER TO MATCH,
UN HE';S ARGUE ALL DAY BLACK WERE WHITE,
YA JUST COULDN'T BUDGE HIM, HE'D STICK TO HIS GUNS,
IF HE KNEW HE WERE SAYING WHAT'S RIGHT.
AFTER JESSIE UN'T KIDS, HIS NEXT LOVE WERE CARS,
HE KNEW ENGINES FRUM WUN END TO'T T'OTHER,
HE COULD STRIP DARN A LORRY A BUS OR A TRAM,
UNTHEN BUILD IT BACK UP WITHART BOTHER.
THERE'S NOWT HE LIKED BETTER THAN A PINT UTT TOWD BREW,
BARNSLEY ARE MEEAN,NOT THAT OTHER,
UN ALLUS A SOFT TOUCH FOR A COUPLE A BOB,
SPECIALLY IF HE WEREN'T REALLY QUITE SOBER.
IT WERE THEM LORRIES THAT DID HIM,FUMES GOT TO HIS CHEST,
THAT UN WOODBINES ABART SIXTY A DAY,
IF HE'D SMOKED LESS A THEM,GONE TO'T PARISH UN CADGED,
HE WOULDN'T BE NAR WHERE HE LAY.
BUT THERE'S WUN THING HE'LL NOT BE FORGOTTEN,
WE'RE ALLUS SPEAKING UN MENTIONING HIS NAME,
HE'S HEART LIKE A LION THAT FELLA,
UN HE'LL GO DARN IN MY HALL A FAME.
HIS KIDS ALL GOT MARRIED UN EDD KIDS A THERE OWN,
SOME HE DINT SEE, THAT WERE SAD,
MINE WERE SUM,BUT THEY'LL GROW UP TO KNOW HIM,
COS! THAT FELLA! WELL! HE WERE MY DAD..,...

Mothers day

Ivvery year we buy her flowers un she sez,'ya shunt they cost so much,
then she trundles off to't kitchen weer shiz vases all lined up.
mind you am only kiddin, mams are a species in their own.
un we couldn't manage bart 'em, not since day wi born.
who else udd wesh ya mucky bums,being a mams a thankless job,
who tries to teach ya reight frum wrong, so's ya dunt grow up a slob.
who nurses ya through measles ,brocken arms un chicken pox,
then chases ya rarnd kitchen cos yuv oil in ya new socks.
she's a profitless money lender, un her cooking carnt be beat,
thuz nobody cun touch her apple pies,un her sponge cakes a perfect treat.
who is it's theer to help ya gerrova't pangs a puppy love,
un sez'he wouldn't do for thee, he just in't good enough.
she sheds a tear to see ya in ya long white wedding gear,
remebering back to't good owd days, when her un dad stood theer.
are many on us tells her that we love her, is there wun,
tell her this next muthers day,cos it's too late wunce she's gone.
am a muther missen wi four great kids,nar booits on't other foot,
un cum sunday ass bi waiting theer,wi mi vases all lined up.

sheila(broadhead)betts

It was the early nineteen hundreds when she was left at the workhouse door,
To mingle with the waifs and strays, and the rest of Barnsleys poor.
Too young to try to understand, at the tender age of three
Why she slept on a worn out mattress, instead of her mothers knee.
Expressionless she stood alone. allowing no one to get through,
She was abandoned and deserted, cast off like a worn out shoe.
And that would have been poor Jessies fate, if old Sam, her grandads mate,
Hadn't walked by and spotted her, standing by the big iron gate.
' Jessie, Jessie Hainsworth is that thee' he said, surprised.
The pale sad face looked back at him, then quickly recognised.
' Mr Naylor, have you seen my mam' she asked him close to tears,
The old man shook his head and said,.Does thy grandma know thar here'.
She shrugged her tiny shoulders, ' Mam told me i'd to wait'
Sge says she's coming back for me, I'd to wait here by this gate'.
' Just thee wait theer then' said old sam,' I'll be back soon as I can'
She clutched his sleeve,' Don't worry lass, I'm off to fetch thy gran'
Gently he unclasped the hand still clinging to his sleeve,
Un he wiped away her salty tears with his big white hankerchief.
Anxiously she watched him disappear along the road,
And old Sam turned to waved, as if to reassure.
But Jessie had no faith in him, after all her mam had failed her,
Why should he be different,no, she didn't trust Sam Naylor.
But the old folk came and took her home,' Till your mam comes back', they said,
And they fed her home made bread and broth, and then tucked her up in bed.
It wasn't long till Jessie settled down on Smithie Farm,
Money was in short supply, but their love kept Jessie warm.
Life wasn't always easy,sometimes they couldn't make ends meet,
So Jess would fill a barrow, selling firewood street to street.
The kids poked fun, but she still went out, even when't snow were bad,
Most days the money from that firewood round was all the old folks had.
Grandad told her stories about days when he was young,
Teaching her the poetry and the songs that they once sung.
She was fourteen when they passed away, once more alone again,
But her aintie Vi from Carlton said,' We'll take Jessie in'.
'But you'll have to get a job, to pay your keep'. they said.
So she took a job at Grundy's, baking cakes and kneading bread.
She paid her keep and gave the rest to drunken uncle Jack,
Who said he'd save it up for her, but she never got it back.
She slept with her three cousins in a small three quarter bed,
There was no one else who wanted her, she'd asked her uncle Fred.
Then she took a job in service on the other side of Leeds,
working her way from laundry maid,to first parlor maid with ease,
Jessie blossomed into womanhood, emerging from her shell,
Dark curly hair and slender limbed, like an elegant gazelle.
Nothing else, she thought could make her happy life complete,
The she met her one and only love, and he swept her off her feet.
Joe, so tall and handsome, in a rougish sort of way,
Jess knew that if he asked her, she would wed her Joe one day.
But once again old fate stepped in and dealt another blow,
She found out she was pregnant and was scared of telling Joe,
Joe saw the change in Jessie, thought she didn't want him anymore,
So he asked her what was wrong with her, thinking she'd show him't door.
' I'm pregnant Joe' she blurted out, as the tears streamed down her face,
As he held her close, she whispered,' I've been worried sick for weeks'.
' Do you love me' he asked anxiously,she said 'aye Joe that I do'
'Well! That settles it' said he relieved' Because by God I love thee too'.
On the third of March they took their vows and pledged to have and hold,
For richer and for poorer with a simple band of gold.
She'd dreamed of getting married in a long white wedding gown,
Not at Pitt Street register office on the other side of town.
No! It wasn't how she planed it but she was used to lifes rough weather,
'We can make it Joe' she told him,' Just as long as we're together'.
Times weren't always easy for the newly weds, but they muddled through,
Soon they'd six more mouths to feed, what else could they do.
Joe worked his fingers to the bone and Jess took washing in,
They hadn't much but that terraced house was clean as a new pin.
When they got a brand new council house,they couldn't ask for anymore,
Then Hitler raised his ugly head, and the country was at war.
Joe signed up for duty, like all the other men.
It was six long years of conflict, before they were a family once agin.
Not long after Joe came back, Jessie started gaining weight,
'I can't be pregnant' she exclaimed,'Not at thirty eoght'.
But sure enough as winter came so did a baby boy,
The girls all spoiled him rotten,he was Josephs pride and joy.
Years passed, the children wed , now had children of their own,
But Joe was gettin g tired, the hard years had took their toll,
He never did grow old and grey, it wasn't meant to be,
And in sixty nine Jow passed away, released from all his pain.
Once more Jessie was alone again, the long years drag on and on,
Though her family are around her, it's not the same since Joe has gone.
Last Friday night, God beckoned and Joe called out Jessies name,
It's been thirty years, but once again they'll stroll down memory lane,
Hand in Hand, Side by Side they'll walk through heavens door,
Jessies with her sweetheart Joe and she's alone no more....